The freedom to love: Make your own choices

freedom to love

Freedom of love is a unique concept and a lot has been written about it.

I look at you and wonder why,
Despite all the flaws you are mine.
You hold me tight and promise all the time,
To be mine forever, and always let our heartbeats rhyme.

I doubt if you are real or someone from my perfect dream,
Just playing a part in my life’s imperfect reel.
With you, these 3 years went by like a happy play,
And I wish we stay together forever the same.

This love poem is written for someone extraordinary and close to the poet’s heart. Anybody reading this is thinking about someone special that they have in their lives.

What is love?

Love is a mix of emotions, behaviour and craziness that is usually characterised by passion, commitment and intimacy. While for some it is a rush of hormones, for others it is an inspiration to be better, and for many others, it is the way of life. But for each person, it involves care, attraction, affection, trust and protectiveness.

Despite being the most studied behaviour it still remains a mystery. It is influenced by both biological and cultural drives.

Each one of us may have a different definition of love, based on the feelings that we experienced when we were in love.

With something so beautiful and pious, the one thing it truly lacks is freedom.

Freedom of love

Freedom to do something means also having the freedom to not do it. We are truly free when we are not compelled to do so by the misinterpretation of vulnerable sensations as emotional demands. The lover who needs you cannot freely love you, no matter how tempting “I need you” may sound in popular songs.
Love is a practice that keeps changing with time, but no matter what the change the freedom of love too has seen its ups and downs. Today too we see freedom of love put to test every now and then.

Some common love stories that faced the judgement of time were Cleopatra and Antony, Heer and Ranjha, Romeo and Juliet, Beatrice and Dante and many more.

However, the one love story that was taboo then and still remains a hush-hush gossip is Richard I of England and Philip II Augustus of France, 1100s.

Yes, that’s the same Richard from “Lionheart,” who was fighting in the Crusades as his younger brother, Prince John, fought Robin Hood at home. Although there is debate about whether Richard and Philip were lovers, some contemporary reports suggest that they were. During the mediaeval Middle Ages, they would have had to keep their affair hidden or risk being dubbed “unnatural.”

The restricted love

A fairly old concept of love, LGBTQ has now made its place in the common parlance. While some of us despise it, some are neutral, and some identify themselves as either of the adjectives, surprisingly most are still unaware of it.

So when we do not know something, what is our most common reaction, we start to despise it. This is exactly what the situation for the LGBTQ is like in India today.

LGBTQ is an acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer or questioning. These terms are used to describe a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. 

In India, public discussion of homosexuality has been stifled by the fact that sexuality is rarely discussed openly in any framework. Nonetheless, attitudes regarding homosexuality have shifted slightly in recent years. In particular, in Indian media and movies, there have been increasing portrayals and discussions of homosexuality.

Prior to the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn the pioneer time law, a number of organisations expressed support for decriminalising homosexuality in India and pushed for resistance and social justice for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and other traditionally marginalised identities in India. India is one of the countries with a third sexual orientation societal component. In India, mental, physical, emotional, and financial abuse of the LGBT community continues to be a problem. Numerous people have died as a result of their lack of assistance from family, society, or the police.

Openly discussing your preferences and sexuality that we as a culture do not promote and if someone is braveheart to actually tries to talk about it, he or she is tagged as unsocial and outcasted from the community.

While the situation was similar for hetrosexual who decided to marry out of their caste or religion, it is improving with the passage of time, but for homosexuals, the freedom of love is swiped down the rug.

Is this discrimination something we really need and should follow as a community towards people who are just trying to share their love for someone they truly feel for?

The Bhagwat Gita mentions that:

To love without condition, to talk without intention, To give without reason, care without expectation, that’s the spirit of true love

So while we build shrines in the love for god, why is acceptance of humans difficult.

You have power over the clothes you wear, the food you consume, the things you do for enjoyment, and the people you talk to and hang out with. However, there is one thing you cannot choose: your sexual orientation. It’s just not true to declare that someone is going to hell or that God despises them because they prefer persons of the same gender.

Hating someone because they are a lesbian, homosexual, or other minority group is, in my opinion, just as bad as racism. As I already stated, you have no control over this, just as you have no control over your skin colour.

Nobody has the right to tell others who they are permitted to like/love just because they are “unable to have children” due to their sexual orientation.

Although it is not a clearly stated constitutional right, I believe that the right to love stands right up there with the right to free speech and religion.